Welcome to Irish Slang, for all your swearing needs. This is NSFW, so if you're sitting in your shitty cubical in work right now, you might get in trouble with that fat bitch from HR.
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Bugger all

from Barbie Fauria

"Well that gobshite knows bugger all about football, he's a clown"

Ask me bollix

Please refrain from bothering me with this nonsense
from Rabbit

"Tubridy asked me who dipped their mickey in his pint so I told him to ask me bollix."


An erection
from Joe

"I'm telling you, if I get a horn off this carry on one of you trouts is getting tore"


from Emma

"Mind your croobiens on the fucking wet paint boys"


from Jono

"You could smell her gooter from the other side of the fucking airport, Dan"

Send it in!

The Whole Shebang

Acting the Maggot

Not Behaving in a Serious Manner
from Stepo

"Lads, I'll break your faces if ye don't stop acting the cunting maggots, you little fuckin' arsehole cunts."

Air Biscuit

A Fart
"I just floated a serious air biscuit there, gents. Run while you still fucking can."


from Scott

"Christ, lads. I've an arse on me like the back of Batman's car after that Guinness last night."

Arsing Around

The Act of Being Lazy
from Sweep

"See that lazy little fuckstick up there? If he doesn't stop arsing around with those fucking slates I'll climb up there and fuck him off the roof myself."

Ask me bollix

Please refrain from bothering me with this nonsense
from Rabbit

"Tubridy asked me who dipped their mickey in his pint so I told him to ask me bollix."

Ass juice

from Eamon

"The symptoms? Well my sphincter is twitching like a fucking jumping bean and I've got ass juice running down my leg."

Aul Wan

from Martin

"Jesus fuck, will you ask yer aul wan to button up her fucking dressing gown? I'm trying to fucking eat here, you fucking silly little squirrel faced cunt."

Back doors kicked in

The act of anally raping a man
from Bmctyrone

"The three of 'em came in the showers, officer. All oiled up like. They kicked me fuckin' back doors in."

Bag o' Swhag

Very Good
from Jonny H

"That blow job was a bag o' swhag, love. Now clean the floor there, will ye?"


A large amount of something
from Paddy

"Jesus fuck. There's some fucking BALL of rain coming in."


from Nigel

"The internet, eh? Load of focking ballsch."


A (Generally Irreversable) State of Disrepair
from Scott

"You can't drive everywhere in first gear you wild-eyed bitch! The fucking car is banjaxed!"


The part of a man's body between his balls and arse
from Paul

"She had a face like my dead uncle's barse."


"Fuck me, lads. Any beak? I'm about to gnaw my own fucking leg off here."


An unpleasant odour
from Niall

"Some bang of benjy off your sister, Henry. Any danger of having a word with the smelly bitch?"


Alarmingly unattractive (as in 'bet with the ugly stick')
from Derek

"Bet? Lads, I'm not exaggerating when I say she has a head like a melted wheelie bin. I almost got sick."


"Did you see the bettys on Grafton Street earlier? Fuck me; they were coming down two by fucking two."


Face (rhyming slang from 'boat race')
from shodda

"Why? Because you've a boat on you like a fuckin' bag of dead rats."


Person from the Countryside
from Susan

"The thick cunt dragged an acre of shit into the shop with him, that's fucking boggers for you."

Bombay Shitehawk

General colourful insult
from Joe

"Get up the yard, ya bombay shitehawk!"


A womans pelvic area
from Ox

"The dirty cow had a box on her like a reasonably priced tent. It barely touched the fucking sides."

Boxed off

Arranged satisfactorily
from Paud

"After the shit, shave and shower I felt totally boxed off."

Bugger all

from Barbie Fauria

"Well that gobshite knows bugger all about football, he's a clown"


from Garzo The Tart

"Oh ballbags. I've just passed a motion into me cacks. Please take me to Dunnes post haste so that I can procure a new pair."


An individual who pushes their luck
"I saw him get away with it, too; the fucking chancer. He was smiling like a cat with a cream-flavoured arsehole."

Chubbed Up

The act of having an erection
from Derek

"I don't know about you, but after seeing Megan Fox in Transformers I was seriously chubbed up."


from Amo

"Did ye see that film on the telly last night? Twas feckin' cla wa'nt it?"


from Nick

"Don't panic now, love, but one of me clackers has gone right up inside me after your rather vigorous hand action. You wouldn't give the fucking ambulance a call there? I'm in quite a lot of pain."


A Punch
from Edel, Bernie and Thomas

"I will give ye a clatter in the jaw and a mug of warm badger's milk if ye don't cop on to yourself."


from Damo

"You clatty prick. I told you she had herpes."


A woman with a particularly sloppy Vagina
from Garzo the Tart

"Jaysus lads, the cocktrough on that thing was like ploughing a field with a pencil."


Mythical (generally alcohol related) Irish phenomenon
"Paddy's day in The George, yeah. The craic was fucking ninety. This big hairy fella ended up tossing my salad in the jacks. Lovely it was."

Creamed out of it

The act of being seriously injured, particularly when partaking in a sporting event
from Shoobus

"We used to pass the ball out to Stormin' Norman the whole time. Poor cunt always got creamed out of it"


from Emma

"Mind your croobiens on the fucking wet paint boys"

Cute Hoor

Someone who quietly has one up on everyone
from Tom

"He's some cute hoor alright, didn't buy a pint all night and went home seein' triple."


"Stop fuckin' with that lightbulb, da."


Large Teeth
from allan farrell

"Some set of delph on that one there. She could eat an apple through a fucking letterbox."


Small balls of fecal matter that on anal hair.
from Andy

"Put your trousers back on, Matthew. Your trunks are leapin' wi' dingleberries!"


Unpleasant character
from Shoe

"That fella over there in Dr. Quirky's Fun Time Emporium is some fucking dirtball"

Doing a line

Having an affair
from Sas

"I'm pretty sure they're doing a line alright. There was fuckin' gee juice and pubes all over the kitchen table this mornin'."


Something which is difficult to endure
from Paud

"Having my entire family die in the same week was a fucking dose."

Double Bagger

A physically toned woman with disproportionately unattractive facial features (a bag for their head and one for yours, just in case)
from Edwina

"Jesus, you pulled some fucking double bagger last night, she had a face on her that'd drive rats from a barn"


Someone of reduced intellectual capacity (also 'Gobshite')
"You're an awful fuckin' eeijet da."

Fair Play

Commendable behaviour
"Did you see him box Tubridy's fucking jaw for him? Fair play."

Fanny Fart

A Queef
from Dylan

"I was about to perform oral sex on my wife when the vile harpy left off a rather mistimed fanny fart. Needless to say her giblets remained uneaten."


A transexual
from weghs

"That one off Tellybingo is some fuckin' fannyballs."


An indication of impending flatulence
from Paddy G

"All that beer from last night is really tugging on the old fartstrings, lads. Just so you know."


The act of sexual intercourse
from Victoria

"I'd feak the box off her"




from irish slang

"God, I was flaming last night. I'm sick as a little hospital today."


Vagina (also 'Minge', 'Gee')
from Larry Garry

"Oooooh keep goin' Jeremy, that's proper nice. Ye make me flange tingle!"

Flatten me

Engage me in sexual intercourse
from dave

"Sheamus, you little fuck, when you've finished fucking around with the VCR, take me out to the pier and fucking flatten me."


The Act of Stealing
"Nah, they fired me for sleeping on the job. I fleeced two iPod on the way out though, so happy days."


from Scott

"Good jaysus, has anyone got the number of an Ambulance, lads? That one with the braces has done a serious number on my flute."

Fuck Face

A person who behaves in an unfavorable manner
from Debbie

"Get your fucking hand out of my fucking Hula Hoops, fuck face."

Fuck's Sake

Expression of Frustration
from Dave da Rave

"Hold on, love, for fuck's sake. I'm almost at the vinegar strokes."


A person of low social standing
from bop

"Goodnight fuckholes"


from Pat Kenny

"Don't tell Tubridy I'm here, he's still fuming over me riding his mot"

Fun Bags

Large breasts
from Lola H

"Jesus, the fun bags on yer one. She could breastfeed a feckin' creche."


from Adam

"I'm actually going to knock the cunt's gaff down with a fucking hammer."


from Sinead

"She's down in the Gaiety I think it is. Watchin' the gee monologues or some fucking rubbish"


Unpopular female (rhymes with 'teabag')
from Scott

"...and his mother? Talk about a fucking geebag."


Style of dress, Appearance
from Killer

"The focking geef of that Ryan Tubridy prick, with his stupid focking head."


Female genitals
from Damo

"Just pulled a cracker lads, going back home now to ate the giblets off her."


Exclamation of disapproval at anyone or anything
from Kev

"Get outta the way you fecking gobshite!!"


from Jono

"You could smell her gooter from the other side of the fucking airport, Dan"


A grubby and generally unkempt vaginal area
from Steve

"I was about to ride the face off her when I saw her big dirty growler and puked me ring."


One who is skilled with women (related to the amount of Gee one can get)
"Having rode those two corkers last night, I think it's fair to say I'm a complete Guillermo, and you're all bent."


An undesirable youth
"Lifestyle Sports: Clothing gurriers since 1984"


A dirty itinerent
from loren greenpeace

"Smell of burnt sticks off that thieving gyppo fuck what just stole your dog."

High Falutin

Having Delusions of Grandeur
from Dermot

"Pat Kenny is some high falutin prick, with his complete lack of personality and the hair on him."


"That Guinness is after cuttin' the hole off me."


"That curry last night is after nearly blowing the hoop off me"


from Colm

"I will in my hoop move the fucking car. I have a scrotum of a headache on me and you're a cunt."


An erection
from Joe

"I'm telling you, if I get a horn off this carry on one of you trouts is getting tore"

Horned up

The Act of Being Aroused
from Sweep

"I'm horned up with the new fella, the massive flute on him."

Horse it in

To be sexually ravaged
from Kootie Kat

"Quit the fancy stuff there, Don Juan and just fuckin' horse it into me!"

How Bad

Good, deadly.
from Taybag

"All these presents are for me? How fucking bad."


from Scott

"Jaysus, I just destroyed the jacks. There's porcelain everywhere."

Jap's Eye

Male urethral opening
from Job

"Back in '82 he was just a twinkle in his father's Jap's Eye"


An expression of disbelief or despair
from irish slang

"Jaysus! I wouldn't touch her if I had a truck full of mickeys"


from Bernard

"Her knickers are already in her handbag you fucking cunts! Just gimme some cash for the Jo'er!"


Male prophylactic
"Shhh, lads - she's gagging for it - does anyone have a johnny?"

Keeping Sketch

The act of being a lookout
from Sooty

"Here. Keep sketch there now while I dip me mickey in Tubridy's pint. The skinny, no pay-cut taking DICKHEAD."


Member of the travelling community
People who shop in Lifestyle Sports
from Scott

"Thieving, thieving fuckin' actual dirtball knackers."


"He didn't get anywhere with her, the fuckin' knobjockey."


A sexually transmitted infection
"Jesus sufferin' fuck, that one the other night has left with me a serious dose of knobrot. Look at the colour of it!"

Knock the hole off

To have intercourse with
from Dermot

"If your sister keeps walking around in those gold hot pants I'll have to knock the hole off her, Lawrence. I can't fucking concentrate."


from Ingo

"Christ, your man's lack is some weapon."


from Eoin

"I'm after gluing my lad to my fuckin' leg again ma. Call an ambulance."

Lamp it in

Make love to me at your next convenience
from Bobby Kennatoni

"Ah jaysus, me pissflaps are burnin' with desire loike, quit pricking around and lamp it into me boss!"


Male genitals
Colourful insult
from Owen

"I moved her knickers to the side last night and now I've only got half of a fucking langer."


Someone with whom you would like to engage in sexual intercourse
from Niamh

"There's some load of lashes on Grafton Street lads, fuck me."


A woman
from Scott

"My knob's on the way out lads. If I don't get a loosebit tonight it could well be curtains."


from Matt

"I'm unattractive am I? Yeah? Well your ma is a dickhead."

Mad Ouva

To be out of one's head (Mad out of it)
from charles

"Continually inhaling bronson into my nostrils the other night resulted in me being mad ouva."


Unclean, dirty
from Schwaub

"That fuckin' missus of yours is manky, Jeff. Would you ever tell her to fuck off?"


The act of purloining drinks at a social gathering (e.g. ''that's mine, that's mine, that's mine'')
from Linda

"Was caught minesweeping by a rather burly gentleman last night. He boxed me on my fucking nose."


A lady's part
from Conor

"I tried to get down on her, but couldn't get past her minge. 'Wwas like gettin' stuck in a hedge."


Displeasing to the eye
from Scott

"If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall; she's absolutely mingin'."


A Girl
"I hear you've got a new molly, yeah? I also heard she's got a face like a photo of a cat's hole. Have some fucking dignity, will ye?"

Mongo Sap

An individual with mental deficiencies
from Rob and Dean

"Get out of me ma's knicker drawer ye fuckin' mongo sap!"


from Ger the gobshite

"That's a fine lookin mott you got there, Jem. Where did you meet her?"


Someone from outside Dublin (also 'Mucker', 'Culchie', 'Bogwarrior')
from Lorraine

"God, the mucksavages on You're a Star. What a fucking embarrassment. An actual national fucking embarrassment."


Country Folk
from Howard

"These fucking muckshit fucks on the bus earlier, with their bullshit about Joe Dolan, and his penchant for singing a fucking bent song. Those cunts can lick my balls."


"All drinkin' and havin' a laugh like. Not a care in the world. And who do you think had to clean up after them? That's right; Muggins here."


from Susan


Nappy Arwshe

A filthy big bum
from A lady

"Jeez, d'ya see the big nappy arwshe on yer one?"


a fool
from Sweep

"That fella is a serious neddy, he'd annoy Pat Kenny's hole, the prick."

Not Worth a Shite

Of no practical value
from Jay

"Those fucking plumbers that you got in aren't worth a shite, Lawrence. You useless prick."


Sexual intercourse
from Amo

"Bit of advice, son. Don't ever tell a woman she's a stupid, fat cow with the personality of a fucking toothpick and a face like a bag of spanners. I haven't got my oats off your mother in three fucking weeks. The disagreeable bitch."

On de Ball

Well done
from Fox

"Is this my cuppa? Nice one, on de ball yung fla."

On Thee Job

Have sex with someone's wife
from Forty Pound Piss Flaps

"Frankie wasn't sick today, Chip. He was at home on thee job."


Woman (also 'Wan')
from Scott

"As I live and breathe! Did you see the focking orse on that one over there?"


Member of the Travelling Community
from Amo

"You and your fucking stinking family can fuck off away from my roof slates, ya fuckin' padjo!"


Person of lower socio-economic status
from Adam The Monks

"Take off the fucking hat, John. You look like a complete pavee."

Pie Retention

The act of gaining weight
from Scott

"Water retention is it, love? More like fucking pie retention."


A Member of the Travelling Community
from Nat

"Get a job, ye fuckin' pikey!"


from rob and conor

"Yer one's after suckin' the pipe off me in an aisle in fucking Xtravision, the little harpy."

Piss Artist

"Your dad's a piss artist, Timmy. A piss artist, and a useless prick."


The outer lips of the vulva or the vagina
from Steve

"I was ridin' the bird last night and her pissflaps nearly tore the flute off me. It's fucking killing me."


Inebriated (also 'Gee-eyed', 'Polluted', 'Rotton', 'Hammered', 'Pissed', 'Shitfaced')
from Scott

"I was plastered for fuck's sake. I'll buy you a new one."


from Peter

"May your plums turn square and fester at each corner, ye cunt."


from Adam

"Were you in that gaff last night? Twas feckin' pony... "

Poof Juice

Alcoholic beverages consumed by a gentleman that are not Guinness or beer based. (e.g Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, Budweiser)
from Conor

"He's really lashing into the poof juice there. What a fucking embarassment."

Pooh Bay

from The Nal

"She was a feisty one right enough. Let me drop anchor in Pooh Bay, the whole lot."


A large amount of something
from Scaltina

"Me and Fiach had a rake of focking bifters last night goys!"


Vagina, considerable force induced by a limb, (e.g. hand)
from Mars Bar

"I gave it to her up the rasher last night, lads. Balls an' all."
"I rashered the arse off yer one for bad behaviour. She'd an arse like a Southhampton supporter's forehead in Benadorm"


from Garzo the Tart

"Fuck me lads, I just did a ratbark that would drive a funeral up an alleyway"


To have sexual intercourse
from Mars bar

"I'd rattle her kidneys with me budgin' if I wasn't so gee-eyed."

Relax The Cacks

Calm down
from Johnny B

"Relax the cacks, amigo. A bit of Sudocreme and that rash'll clear up in no time."


To engage in Sexual Intercourse (also 'Shag')
"Do I love ya? Sure amen't I riding ya?"


from The Drummer

"But it's me borthdey, love. Can I not have a go on your ring?"


The greatest word in the English language
from Johnny

"To err is human. To use the word ringpiece, divine."


Thin, wispy moustache cultivated by scumbags
from Poppa Joe

"He was about 6 foot tall, with a ronnie that looked like someone shat on his fucking lip."


The act of particularly jarring doggystyle sex
from Jason

"Sorry lads, but I'd root the hole off that Carol Vorderman, there I've said it."


Good Looking Young Lady
from Dave Fields

"That chick is a fuckin' rosspot, I'd knock the arse off her!"


A young lady of loose moral character (from Mustang Sally, because 'all she wants to do is ride')
from Sionnach

"I left that sally from earlier with a face like a painter's radio."


An expression of satisfaction
from The Drummer

"That tune you just played on the harpsichord was savage, Phillip. Now fuck off out of it, ya fucking bufty."


from Gerro

"Any chance of a cup of scaldy there young lad?"

Scaldy Ring

Burning Sensation around anus
from Gemma

"Stick some fucking toilet paper in the fridge, Paula. I've a terrible dose of scaldy ring."


Beautiful women
from Mullo

"Come down for a pint, sure; there's feckin' scenario everywhere!"


from Mullo

"I need to go down to B&Q and get a fucking new tap for the missus. Have you the lend of a few schnozzlewoppers?"


Pints (generally of stout)
from Smashface

"Where's Byrne? It's his twist for the scoops, the tight fecker!"


a very small amount
from peewee

"There wasn't even a screed of gee in the whole place. Lads were almost getting off with each other, sure."


from Andy

"I shit me pants and was scundered for a hundred."


Male briefs or boxers
from Dave and Johnny

"Fuck me lads, the missus got me these fancy new scunders and they're tearin' the bollix off me."


To have sexual relations with a lady
from James

"You must have given that one from the chipper an awful scuttling last night. She's walking like John fucking Wayne over there."

Shit the Bed

Expression of surprise or disbelief
from Rory

"Shit the bed, that goddess I brought home last night has been kidnapped and replaced with a fuckin' swamp donkey."


Fecal Matter
"Will you don't be listening to that fella. He's full of shite."


Anyone unpleasant or untrustworthy
from Shane K

"Spar and Centra? Don't trust them shower of robbin' shitehawk bastards."


When one is blindingly drunk
from Nick

"Fuck me, I have no idea what happened last night. I was totally fucking shitfaced."


To leave a social engagement without telling anyone (often due to inebriation)
from Jabe

"He was up at the bar one minute and gone the next. Must have shlunked."

Simon's Trousers

A Bulbous Posterior
Big Nappy Arse
from Fred

"Jesus that Roisin Ingle one off the Irish Times has an awful pair of Simon's trousers on her."


Masturbating the morning after over a women you saw the night before
from Andy M

"Jesus, did ya see that Glenda Gilson one on the telly last night? I pulled the skagdick off meself."


A person whom should not be engaged in conversation. (also 'Knacker', 'Scobie wan', 'Scobe', 'Tinker', 'Scumbag', 'Shambo')
from Aido

"Jaysus, will ya look at the two skangers on that horse. Fuckin' scumbags."


During intercourse when your foreskin goes too far back
from Gerro

"Did ya get the bock last night? Damn right, skimbock all the way."


The act of courting the facially challenged at the end of a drunken night
from Smash-face

"Easy with the skimming lads, trolls like those could give you a terrible dose of knob rot."


Suffering from financial difficulties
from Scott

"Jesus, I'm skint after those fuckin' hookers last night"

Sky Pilot

General colourful insult
from Karl

"On your bike, ya fuckin' sky pilot!"


An easy lay
from Alistair

"I'm sorry to tell ya lads, but I've a pair of balls on me like two cunting coconuts. It's slappers all the way tonight."


from Gooders

"Lend you a tenner, ye gamblin' bitch? I will in me slice"


Birth Control Pills
from Sam

"Yeah, he's one today. Silly cow wasn't on the Smarties."


It's me
from Erin

"Jaysus, smee ya fuckin' steamboat!"


"Six snots to rent a DVD is it, you thieving bastards? Yeah? Well I'll go download it so. See ya in the funny pages, dickheads!"

Spare arse

A female of loose moral fibre
from Collie

"Well holy God, lads. There's spare arse as far as the eye can see."


Teenager from a lower socio-economic background (e.g. Limerick)
from meatsy

"Get away from my fucking iPod ya shiney little thieving spide cunt"


To tell a lie
from Jonathan Carr

"If that fucking tart tells me another spoof, I'll knock her out with a fucking loaf. The mediocre blowjob giving fucking weapon"

Stall the Ball

Wait a Moment (see also 'Hold on, for fuck's sake.')
from Baz

"Stall the ball lads. It looks like yer one's gonna box herself off with that hurley."


Seriously Enibriated
from Andy

"Look at yer man. He's fuckin steamboats!"


Over Priced
from Ingo

"Jaysus, that Barbara Streisand concert was steep as bunkers, beh. And bent as a fucking U-nail."

Streak Of Piss

A tall, skinny person
from J

"That Ryan Tubridy is some big eared personality vacuum of an interrupting streak of piss."


Not telling the truth
from Jamie sander

"You fucking lier"

Swiss, the

Hole (from 'Swiss Roll')
from The Nal

"The fucking sound out of it was some pain in the swiss, though. Noisier than a skeleton wanking on a fucking tin roof."

That's the Shot

Expression of Satisfaction
from Decco

"A suspended sentence? That's the shot your honour."


Someone who is both intellectually challenged and lazy
from Carabumble

"He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician. The fuckin' thicko."

Throw it in

To have sexual intercourse
from Jason

"She's missing an eye? Fuck it, bring her over and I'll throw it into her"


Secretly touching girls with your penis at social gatherings
from Alex

"This one caught me playing titmickey last night. Dirty cow ended up licking my balls beside a fucking radiator."


Being by oneself (from Toblerone)
from tay

"When Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon he finally felt as if he was completely on his tobler, then Buzz Aldrin hopped out and fucking wrecked the buzz."


A foolish or stupid person
from DOC

"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."


A city dweller
from Susan

"These fucking townies coming out here with their mountain bikes and their fucking picnics can lick my balls."


Promiscuous young lady (also 'Trollop', 'Floozie', 'Goer', 'Slapper')
from Scott

"That Jodie Marsh is some tramp, if you kicked her in the hole a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her fanny."


"Relax the cacks, ya uppity prick. I'll put it back together after lunch."

Vinegar Strokes

The last few thrusts before a man ejaculates
"Keep it up, love! Keep it up! I'm at the fucking vinegar strokes!"


A disagreeable member of the fairer sex (e.g. Roisin Ingle from the Irish Times)
from Dave da Rave

"Leave 'em on ya fuckin' wagon!"


Disagreeable Women
from irish phrases

"Will you stop going on about the wedding, ya bleedin' weapon? Ray fucking Mears is on Top Gear!"

Wee Sacs

An Individual of Low Social Standing
from Sean Gaughan

"Awrite wee sacs, make the tea, will ye?"

Willy Wonka

Condition Resulting from Overuse of One's Penis
from Darragh

"I appear to have a rather serious case of Willy Wonka after that one last night"


Weak Looking and Possibly Gay
"Shut up, ye windy fuck."


Of Excellent Quality
from Damo

"As I live an breathe, that girl had some wopper box."


Person of reduced aesthetic appearance
from Susan

"She's a wreck alright. Got a face on her like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"

Wrote Off

Very Enebriated
from Lisa

"I'm so getting wrote off the map tonight lads, it's not even funny."

Young wan

A Young Lady
from Andrew

"Jaysus, that young wan has an arse like two ferrets fighting in a bag."