Bugger all
from Barbie Fauria
"Well that gobshite knows bugger all about football, he's a clown"
Ask me bollix
from Rabbit
"Tubridy asked me who dipped their mickey in his pint so I told him to ask me bollix."
Horn
from Joe
"I'm telling you, if I get a horn off this carry on one of you trouts is getting tore"
Croobiens
from Emma
"Mind your croobiens on the fucking wet paint boys"
Gooter
from Jono
"You could smell her gooter from the other side of the fucking airport, Dan"
Acting the Maggot
from Stepo
"Lads, I'll break your faces if ye don't stop acting the cunting maggots, you little fuckin' arsehole cunts."
Air Biscuit
"I just floated a serious air biscuit there, gents. Run while you still fucking can."
Arse
from Scott
"Christ, lads. I've an arse on me like the back of Batman's car after that Guinness last night."
Arsing Around
from Sweep
"See that lazy little fuckstick up there? If he doesn't stop arsing around with those fucking slates I'll climb up there and fuck him off the roof myself."
Ask me bollix
from Rabbit
"Tubridy asked me who dipped their mickey in his pint so I told him to ask me bollix."
Ass juice
from Eamon
"The symptoms? Well my sphincter is twitching like a fucking jumping bean and I've got ass juice running down my leg."
Aul Wan
from Martin
"Jesus fuck, will you ask yer aul wan to button up her fucking dressing gown? I'm trying to fucking eat here, you fucking silly little squirrel faced cunt."
Back doors kicked in
from Bmctyrone
"The three of 'em came in the showers, officer. All oiled up like. They kicked me fuckin' back doors in."
Bag o' Swhag
from Jonny H
"That blow job was a bag o' swhag, love. Now clean the floor there, will ye?"
Ball
from Paddy
"Jesus fuck. There's some fucking BALL of rain coming in."
Ballsch
Crap
from Nigel
"The internet, eh? Load of focking ballsch."
Banjaxed
from Scott
"You can't drive everywhere in first gear you wild-eyed bitch! The fucking car is banjaxed!"
Barse
from Paul
"She had a face like my dead uncle's barse."
Beak
"Fuck me, lads. Any beak? I'm about to gnaw my own fucking leg off here."
Benjy
from Niall
"Some bang of benjy off your sister, Henry. Any danger of having a word with the smelly bitch?"
Bet
from Derek
"Bet? Lads, I'm not exaggerating when I say she has a head like a melted wheelie bin. I almost got sick."
Bettys
"Did you see the bettys on Grafton Street earlier? Fuck me; they were coming down two by fucking two."
Boat
from shodda
"Why? Because you've a boat on you like a fuckin' bag of dead rats."
Bogger
from Susan
"The thick cunt dragged an acre of shit into the shop with him, that's fucking boggers for you."
Bombay Shitehawk
from Joe
"Get up the yard, ya bombay shitehawk!"
Box
from Ox
"The dirty cow had a box on her like a reasonably priced tent. It barely touched the fucking sides."
Boxed off
Arranged satisfactorily
from Paud
"After the shit, shave and shower I felt totally boxed off."
Bugger all
from Barbie Fauria
"Well that gobshite knows bugger all about football, he's a clown"
Cacks
from Garzo The Tart
"Oh ballbags. I've just passed a motion into me cacks. Please take me to Dunnes post haste so that I can procure a new pair."
Chancer
"I saw him get away with it, too; the fucking chancer. He was smiling like a cat with a cream-flavoured arsehole."
Chubbed Up
from Derek
"I don't know about you, but after seeing Megan Fox in Transformers I was seriously chubbed up."
Cla
from Amo
"Did ye see that film on the telly last night? Twas feckin' cla wa'nt it?"
Clackers
from Nick
"Don't panic now, love, but one of me clackers has gone right up inside me after your rather vigorous hand action. You wouldn't give the fucking ambulance a call there? I'm in quite a lot of pain."
Clatter
from Edel, Bernie and Thomas
"I will give ye a clatter in the jaw and a mug of warm badger's milk if ye don't cop on to yourself."
Clatty
from Damo
"You clatty prick. I told you she had herpes."
Cocktrough
from Garzo the Tart
"Jaysus lads, the cocktrough on that thing was like ploughing a field with a pencil."
Craic
"Paddy's day in The George, yeah. The craic was fucking ninety. This big hairy fella ended up tossing my salad in the jacks. Lovely it was."
Creamed out of it
from Shoobus
"We used to pass the ball out to Stormin' Norman the whole time. Poor cunt always got creamed out of it"
Croobiens
from Emma
"Mind your croobiens on the fucking wet paint boys"
Cute Hoor
from Tom
"He's some cute hoor alright, didn't buy a pint all night and went home seein' triple."
Da
"Stop fuckin' with that lightbulb, da."
Delph
from allan farrell
"Some set of delph on that one there. She could eat an apple through a fucking letterbox."
Dingleberries
from Andy
"Put your trousers back on, Matthew. Your trunks are leapin' wi' dingleberries!"
Dirtball
Scumbag
from Shoe
"That fella over there in Dr. Quirky's Fun Time Emporium is some fucking dirtball"
Doing a line
from Sas
"I'm pretty sure they're doing a line alright. There was fuckin' gee juice and pubes all over the kitchen table this mornin'."
Dose
from Paud
"Having my entire family die in the same week was a fucking dose."
Double Bagger
from Edwina
"Jesus, you pulled some fucking double bagger last night, she had a face on her that'd drive rats from a barn"
Eejit
"You're an awful fuckin' eeijet da."
Fair Play
"Did you see him box Tubridy's fucking jaw for him? Fair play."
Fanny Fart
from Dylan
"I was about to perform oral sex on my wife when the vile harpy left off a rather mistimed fanny fart. Needless to say her giblets remained uneaten."
Fannyballs
from weghs
"That one off Tellybingo is some fuckin' fannyballs."
Fartstrings
from Paddy G
"All that beer from last night is really tugging on the old fartstrings, lads. Just so you know."
Feak
from Victoria
"I'd feak the box off her"
Feck
"Feck"
Flaming
from irish slang
"God, I was flaming last night. I'm sick as a little hospital today."
Flange
from Larry Garry
"Oooooh keep goin' Jeremy, that's proper nice. Ye make me flange tingle!"
Flatten me
from dave
"Sheamus, you little fuck, when you've finished fucking around with the VCR, take me out to the pier and fucking flatten me."
Fleecing
"Nah, they fired me for sleeping on the job. I fleeced two iPod on the way out though, so happy days."
Flute
from Scott
"Good jaysus, has anyone got the number of an Ambulance, lads? That one with the braces has done a serious number on my flute."
Fuck Face
from Debbie
"Get your fucking hand out of my fucking Hula Hoops, fuck face."
Fuck's Sake
from Dave da Rave
"Hold on, love, for fuck's sake. I'm almost at the vinegar strokes."
Fuckhole
from bop
"Goodnight fuckholes"
Fuming
from Pat Kenny
"Don't tell Tubridy I'm here, he's still fuming over me riding his mot"
Fun Bags
from Lola H
"Jesus, the fun bags on yer one. She could breastfeed a feckin' creche."
Gaff
from Adam
"I'm actually going to knock the cunt's gaff down with a fucking hammer."
Gee
from Sinead
"She's down in the Gaiety I think it is. Watchin' the gee monologues or some fucking rubbish"
Geebag
from Scott
"...and his mother? Talk about a fucking geebag."
Geef
from Killer
"The focking geef of that Ryan Tubridy prick, with his stupid focking head."
Giblets
from Damo
"Just pulled a cracker lads, going back home now to ate the giblets off her."
Gobshite
from Kev
"Get outta the way you fecking gobshite!!"
Gooter
from Jono
"You could smell her gooter from the other side of the fucking airport, Dan"
Growler
from Steve
"I was about to ride the face off her when I saw her big dirty growler and puked me ring."
Guillermo
"Having rode those two corkers last night, I think it's fair to say I'm a complete Guillermo, and you're all bent."
Gurrier
"Lifestyle Sports: Clothing gurriers since 1984"
Gyppo
from loren greenpeace
"Smell of burnt sticks off that thieving gyppo fuck what just stole your dog."
High Falutin
from Dermot
"Pat Kenny is some high falutin prick, with his complete lack of personality and the hair on him."
Hole
"That Guinness is after cuttin' the hole off me."
Hoop
"That curry last night is after nearly blowing the hoop off me"
Hoop
from Colm
"I will in my hoop move the fucking car. I have a scrotum of a headache on me and you're a cunt."
Horn
from Joe
"I'm telling you, if I get a horn off this carry on one of you trouts is getting tore"
Horned up
from Sweep
"I'm horned up with the new fella, the massive flute on him."
Horse it in
from Kootie Kat
"Quit the fancy stuff there, Don Juan and just fuckin' horse it into me!"
How Bad
from Taybag
"All these presents are for me? How fucking bad."
Jacks
from Scott
"Jaysus, I just destroyed the jacks. There's porcelain everywhere."
Jap's Eye
from Job
"Back in '82 he was just a twinkle in his father's Jap's Eye"
Jaysus
from irish slang
"Jaysus! I wouldn't touch her if I had a truck full of mickeys"
Jo'er
from Bernard
"Her knickers are already in her handbag you fucking cunts! Just gimme some cash for the Jo'er!"
Johnny
"Shhh, lads - she's gagging for it - does anyone have a johnny?"
Keeping Sketch
from Sooty
"Here. Keep sketch there now while I dip me mickey in Tubridy's pint. The skinny, no pay-cut taking DICKHEAD."
Knacker
People who shop in Lifestyle Sports
from Scott
"Thieving, thieving fuckin' actual dirtball knackers."
Knobjockey
"He didn't get anywhere with her, the fuckin' knobjockey."
Knobrot
"Jesus sufferin' fuck, that one the other night has left with me a serious dose of knobrot. Look at the colour of it!"
Knock the hole off
from Dermot
"If your sister keeps walking around in those gold hot pants I'll have to knock the hole off her, Lawrence. I can't fucking concentrate."
Lack
from Ingo
"Christ, your man's lack is some weapon."
Lad
from Eoin
"I'm after gluing my lad to my fuckin' leg again ma. Call an ambulance."
Lamp it in
from Bobby Kennatoni
"Ah jaysus, me pissflaps are burnin' with desire loike, quit pricking around and lamp it into me boss!"
Langer
Colourful insult
from Owen
"I moved her knickers to the side last night and now I've only got half of a fucking langer."
Lash
from Niamh
"There's some load of lashes on Grafton Street lads, fuck me."
Loosebit
from Scott
"My knob's on the way out lads. If I don't get a loosebit tonight it could well be curtains."
Ma
from Matt
"I'm unattractive am I? Yeah? Well your ma is a dickhead."
Mad Ouva
from charles
"Continually inhaling bronson into my nostrils the other night resulted in me being mad ouva."
Manky
from Schwaub
"That fuckin' missus of yours is manky, Jeff. Would you ever tell her to fuck off?"
Minesweeping
from Linda
"Was caught minesweeping by a rather burly gentleman last night. He boxed me on my fucking nose."
Minge
from Conor
"I tried to get down on her, but couldn't get past her minge. 'Wwas like gettin' stuck in a hedge."
Mingin'
from Scott
"If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall; she's absolutely mingin'."
Molly
"I hear you've got a new molly, yeah? I also heard she's got a face like a photo of a cat's hole. Have some fucking dignity, will ye?"
Mongo Sap
from Rob and Dean
"Get out of me ma's knicker drawer ye fuckin' mongo sap!"
Mott
from Ger the gobshite
"That's a fine lookin mott you got there, Jem. Where did you meet her?"
Mucksavage
from Lorraine
"God, the mucksavages on You're a Star. What a fucking embarrassment. An actual national fucking embarrassment."
Muckshits
from Howard
"These fucking muckshit fucks on the bus earlier, with their bullshit about Joe Dolan, and his penchant for singing a fucking bent song. Those cunts can lick my balls."
Muggins
"All drinkin' and havin' a laugh like. Not a care in the world. And who do you think had to clean up after them? That's right; Muggins here."
Nah
from Susan
"Nah"
Nappy Arwshe
from A lady
"Jeez, d'ya see the big nappy arwshe on yer one?"
Neddy
from Sweep
"That fella is a serious neddy, he'd annoy Pat Kenny's hole, the prick."
Not Worth a Shite
from Jay
"Those fucking plumbers that you got in aren't worth a shite, Lawrence. You useless prick."
Oats
from Amo
"Bit of advice, son. Don't ever tell a woman she's a stupid, fat cow with the personality of a fucking toothpick and a face like a bag of spanners. I haven't got my oats off your mother in three fucking weeks. The disagreeable bitch."
On de Ball
from Fox
"Is this my cuppa? Nice one, on de ball yung fla."
On Thee Job
from Forty Pound Piss Flaps
"Frankie wasn't sick today, Chip. He was at home on thee job."
One
from Scott
"As I live and breathe! Did you see the focking orse on that one over there?"
Padjo
from Amo
"You and your fucking stinking family can fuck off away from my roof slates, ya fuckin' padjo!"
Pavee
from Adam The Monks
"Take off the fucking hat, John. You look like a complete pavee."
Pie Retention
from Scott
"Water retention is it, love? More like fucking pie retention."
Pikey
from Nat
"Get a job, ye fuckin' pikey!"
Pipe
from rob and conor
"Yer one's after suckin' the pipe off me in an aisle in fucking Xtravision, the little harpy."
Piss Artist
"Your dad's a piss artist, Timmy. A piss artist, and a useless prick."
Pissflaps
from Steve
"I was ridin' the bird last night and her pissflaps nearly tore the flute off me. It's fucking killing me."
Plastered
from Scott
"I was plastered for fuck's sake. I'll buy you a new one."
Plums
from Peter
"May your plums turn square and fester at each corner, ye cunt."
Pony
from Adam
"Were you in that gaff last night? Twas feckin' pony... "
Poof Juice
from Conor
"He's really lashing into the poof juice there. What a fucking embarassment."
Pooh Bay
from The Nal
"She was a feisty one right enough. Let me drop anchor in Pooh Bay, the whole lot."
Rake
from Scaltina
"Me and Fiach had a rake of focking bifters last night goys!"
Rasher
from Mars Bar
"I gave it to her up the rasher last night, lads. Balls an' all."
"I rashered the arse off yer one for bad behaviour. She'd an arse like a Southhampton supporter's forehead in Benadorm"
Ratbark
from Garzo the Tart
"Fuck me lads, I just did a ratbark that would drive a funeral up an alleyway"
Rattle
from Mars bar
"I'd rattle her kidneys with me budgin' if I wasn't so gee-eyed."
Relax The Cacks
from Johnny B
"Relax the cacks, amigo. A bit of Sudocreme and that rash'll clear up in no time."
Ride
"Do I love ya? Sure amen't I riding ya?"
Ring
from The Drummer
"But it's me borthdey, love. Can I not have a go on your ring?"
Ringpiece
The greatest word in the English language
from Johnny
"To err is human. To use the word ringpiece, divine."
Ronnie
from Poppa Joe
"He was about 6 foot tall, with a ronnie that looked like someone shat on his fucking lip."
Root
from Jason
"Sorry lads, but I'd root the hole off that Carol Vorderman, there I've said it."
Rosspot
from Dave Fields
"That chick is a fuckin' rosspot, I'd knock the arse off her!"
Sally
from Sionnach
"I left that sally from earlier with a face like a painter's radio."
Savage
from The Drummer
"That tune you just played on the harpsichord was savage, Phillip. Now fuck off out of it, ya fucking bufty."
Scaldy
from Gerro
"Any chance of a cup of scaldy there young lad?"
Scaldy Ring
from Gemma
"Stick some fucking toilet paper in the fridge, Paula. I've a terrible dose of scaldy ring."
Scenario
from Mullo
"Come down for a pint, sure; there's feckin' scenario everywhere!"
Schnozzlewoppers
from Mullo
"I need to go down to B&Q and get a fucking new tap for the missus. Have you the lend of a few schnozzlewoppers?"
Scoops
from Smashface
"Where's Byrne? It's his twist for the scoops, the tight fecker!"
Screed
from peewee
"There wasn't even a screed of gee in the whole place. Lads were almost getting off with each other, sure."
Scundered
from Andy
"I shit me pants and was scundered for a hundred."
Scunders
from Dave and Johnny
"Fuck me lads, the missus got me these fancy new scunders and they're tearin' the bollix off me."
Scuttle
from James
"You must have given that one from the chipper an awful scuttling last night. She's walking like John fucking Wayne over there."
Shit the Bed
from Rory
"Shit the bed, that goddess I brought home last night has been kidnapped and replaced with a fuckin' swamp donkey."
Shite
"Will you don't be listening to that fella. He's full of shite."
Shitehawk
from Shane K
"Spar and Centra? Don't trust them shower of robbin' shitehawk bastards."
Shitfaced
from Nick
"Fuck me, I have no idea what happened last night. I was totally fucking shitfaced."
Shlunk
from Jabe
"He was up at the bar one minute and gone the next. Must have shlunked."
Simon's Trousers
Big Nappy Arse
from Fred
"Jesus that Roisin Ingle one off the Irish Times has an awful pair of Simon's trousers on her."
Skagdick
from Andy M
"Jesus, did ya see that Glenda Gilson one on the telly last night? I pulled the skagdick off meself."
Skanger
from Aido
"Jaysus, will ya look at the two skangers on that horse. Fuckin' scumbags."
Skimbock
from Gerro
"Did ya get the bock last night? Damn right, skimbock all the way."
Skimming
from Smash-face
"Easy with the skimming lads, trolls like those could give you a terrible dose of knob rot."
Skint
from Scott
"Jesus, I'm skint after those fuckin' hookers last night"
Sky Pilot
from Karl
"On your bike, ya fuckin' sky pilot!"
Slapper
from Alistair
"I'm sorry to tell ya lads, but I've a pair of balls on me like two cunting coconuts. It's slappers all the way tonight."
Slice
from Gooders
"Lend you a tenner, ye gamblin' bitch? I will in me slice"
Smarties
from Sam
"Yeah, he's one today. Silly cow wasn't on the Smarties."
Smee
from Erin
"Jaysus, smee ya fuckin' steamboat!"
Snots
"Six snots to rent a DVD is it, you thieving bastards? Yeah? Well I'll go download it so. See ya in the funny pages, dickheads!"
Spare arse
from Collie
"Well holy God, lads. There's spare arse as far as the eye can see."
Spide
from meatsy
"Get away from my fucking iPod ya shiney little thieving spide cunt"
Spoof
from Jonathan Carr
"If that fucking tart tells me another spoof, I'll knock her out with a fucking loaf. The mediocre blowjob giving fucking weapon"
Stall the Ball
from Baz
"Stall the ball lads. It looks like yer one's gonna box herself off with that hurley."
Steamboats
from Andy
"Look at yer man. He's fuckin steamboats!"
Steep
from Ingo
"Jaysus, that Barbara Streisand concert was steep as bunkers, beh. And bent as a fucking U-nail."
Streak Of Piss
from J
"That Ryan Tubridy is some big eared personality vacuum of an interrupting streak of piss."
suchdest_slang
from Jamie sander
"You fucking lier"
Swiss, the
from The Nal
"The fucking sound out of it was some pain in the swiss, though. Noisier than a skeleton wanking on a fucking tin roof."
That's the Shot
from Decco
"A suspended sentence? That's the shot your honour."
Thicko
from Carabumble
"He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician. The fuckin' thicko."
Throw it in
from Jason
"She's missing an eye? Fuck it, bring her over and I'll throw it into her"
Titmickey
from Alex
"This one caught me playing titmickey last night. Dirty cow ended up licking my balls beside a fucking radiator."
Tobler
from tay
"When Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon he finally felt as if he was completely on his tobler, then Buzz Aldrin hopped out and fucking wrecked the buzz."
Tool
from DOC
"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Townie
from Susan
"These fucking townies coming out here with their mountain bikes and their fucking picnics can lick my balls."
Tramp
from Scott
"That Jodie Marsh is some tramp, if you kicked her in the hole a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her fanny."
Uppity
"Relax the cacks, ya uppity prick. I'll put it back together after lunch."
Vinegar Strokes
"Keep it up, love! Keep it up! I'm at the fucking vinegar strokes!"
Wagon
from Dave da Rave
"Leave 'em on ya fuckin' wagon!"
Weapon
from irish phrases
"Will you stop going on about the wedding, ya bleedin' weapon? Ray fucking Mears is on Top Gear!"
Wee Sacs
from Sean Gaughan
"Awrite wee sacs, make the tea, will ye?"
Willy Wonka
from Darragh
"I appear to have a rather serious case of Willy Wonka after that one last night"
Windy
"Shut up, ye windy fuck."
Wopper
from Damo
"As I live an breathe, that girl had some wopper box."
Wreck
from Susan
"She's a wreck alright. Got a face on her like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"
Wrote Off
from Lisa
"I'm so getting wrote off the map tonight lads, it's not even funny."
Young wan
from Andrew
"Jaysus, that young wan has an arse like two ferrets fighting in a bag."